The Antlers: I Don’t Want Love

In response to my last post, Why Women Are Drawn to Troubled Men, I was asked this question: “Do you think there’s a part of you that has sought out bad relationships/dates to feed and continue that creative process, in subconscious fear that if you have a relationship that eventually works out, there won’t be as much to create?” I scratched my head and began to think it through.

The Antlers: music for grown-ups who don't want to grow up

It was Tuesday, October 4th, 2011: The Antlers were onstage at The Met in Providence. I glanced to my left as they played the opening notes of “I Don’t Want Love.” There stood my friend, a man who most definitely does not want love; it’s not that he’s a cold bastard, it’s just that he’s been hurt and would rather be alone than risk being hurt again. I get it. Love is a choice.

Peter could make anyone melt

I looked up on stage once again; the intensity in lead singer Peter Silberman’s eyes was such it seemed as if they could bore a hole through steel. The irony ran rampant. I was smack-dab in the middle of my kind of man sandwich…

The Hot Mess

(serves 1)

Ingredients:

• 1 slice of unkempt hair, styled so as to fall into the eyes seductively
• 1 slice of “I’m a rock star and I haven’t slept in days” facial scruff
• 2 eyes, piercing and capable of turning women into jelly
• 1 brooding facial expression
• 1 unlit cigarette, dangling from the corner of the mouth a la Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
• 5 or more tattoos
• 3 or more addictions (alcohol, drugs, self-loathing, razor blades, ex-wives)

Spread with a thin layer of guitar, paintbrush and/or motorcycle grease and enjoy…for as long as you can stand it.

Darby Cicci...king of "hair in the eyes"

Looking back on the past 10 years, it’s resoundingly obvious that all the guys I have been truly excited about were unavailable to me in one way or another. I’ve loved them, been patient with them, screamed at them, walked out on them and came back to them, time and time again.

I’ve never sought out a bad relationship, I have simply sought out excitement. I still hold out hope that one of these days a man will be capable of both exciting me and joining me in a healthy and mutually appreciative relationship. Until then, I’ll listen to The Antlers and have fun in the moment. After all, not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime.

***

The Antlers, I Don’t Want Love

You wanna climb up the stairs,

I wanna push you back down.

But I let you inside,

so you can push me around.

If I leave before you,

and I walk out alone,

keep your hands to yourself

when you follow me home.

I don’t want love.

I don’t want love.

***

The Antlers, Hounds

(for no reason other than I love this song)

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